I'm not strong enough to lose you. Even when we are far by some distances for some moments, I can't help myself to not to miss you. And sometimes, that feeling conquered myself until some point that I'll burst into tears. See that? Look how weak I am. It's because your presence in my life and existence in my days brought more than a thousand meanings. You are among the precious people in my lifetimes. So please don't go. It's more than love that I have on you.

I love you so much..

"Because only time is capable of understanding how valuable love is" :)

It's All About Fate

Recently, I just stalked about a Chinese girl named Teresa on her Twitter. She's just 15, and died because of brain tumor. Then, bukak pulak Twitter boyfriend dia, Azlan. I almost cried baca tweets dia. Of course lah dia tgh sedih tahap gaban kann. And his tweets about Teresa really touched my heart. Dia tweet pasal memories diorg dulu dulu, pasal future planning diorg, and sekarang semua tu tinggal kenangan je. Cuba bayangkan that thing happened to us? 

Terus terang, I'm not ready to lose anyone yet including family, friends and him. I'm not strong enough. Macam Azlan ni, he lost his girlfriend, and me, if lose Izat, entahlahhh.. Kadang kadang ade jugak terbayang kehilangan dia, tapi lepas tu secara tak sedar, mesti I broke into tears. 

Malam semalam time keluar dgn Izat, I said to him "Saya tau saya takkan kuat kalau takde awak. So awak mesti kene ada dgn saya." And then he said "Jangan la mcm tu. Saya ada awak kene kuat, saya takda awak kene lagi kuat" And then I terus nangis. Taktau la dia perasan ke tak. 

I just can't imagine losing him. I survived lots of things sbb ada dia. I can't afford losing him. I really really wish I can have him forever. Saya tahu kalau saya hilang awak, saya takkan boleh lupakan awak. Tapi jodoh pertemuan ajal maut semua di tangan Allah. All I can do is to pray for a happy forever after with you.

I love you so much.

Lalalalala

Suddenly feels like writing a post. Tapi nak post pasal ape eh? I am listening to My Love by Sia which is my current favorite song, and he is now driving back to Perak. Mom and dad asleep. My bro keluar. Rasa sunyi pulak sorang sorang. And this song, from the first note, just making me thinking about me and him. Ye lah, who else can I think about? Dia je lah yang memenuhi inbox phone, chatbox fb, chatbox skype, chatbox whatsapp & call logs sepanjang cuti ni. Tweet dia kurang sikit. Hehe. Yeah, I MISS HIM SO MUCH. Dah lama tak jumpa dia. Last jumpa pun sekejap je :( Banyak benda nak buat kalau boleh jumpa. Movies, bowling, shopping, makan. Hmmm, bestnyaaa. Suddenly teringat pulak kenangan time asasi dulu. Bittersweet that we had, beautiful memories. Arghhhh how I wish we are a married couple now. Takdela rindu2 mcm ni :( Anyway, I hope he's driving n arriving safely. Jumpa lepas raya ea sayang. Takmo mengorat anak dara orang kat kampung! :)

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!

Betterman

I am trying to change to become a better person for God, and everybody else around. 
I want to be better than my yesterdays.

Alhamdulillah :)

These words speak my heart

 

A Letter From This Little Heart

I wish we only know each other by the time that we are totally ready to get married. It's not that easy to maintain a good relationship for a long period of time especially when we are separated by distances. What is he doing, how he is, who is he going out with, why he didn't reply my texts or answer my calls, and all sorts of questions keep running in my mind. This is actually the point where our trustworthy and honesty are being tested. I always tried my best to be honest, to always trust him and to always think positive about him. But as a normal human being, sometimes I do feel curious and worry about him. By hook or by crook, I have to be patient facing these challenges and keep praying for the time where he became truly mine will come. InsyaAllah.. But no matter what happens, I will always love him, I will always try my best to make him the happiest man in the world, and I will always pray that we will get married one day. Amin :)

The day will come. InsyaAllah :)

 Celebrations - Birthdays: Abah (16th May), Mama (2nd June), Miktang (13th June), Me (15th June), Abimi (27th June), Muiz (30th June).
Wedding Anniversary Abah & Mama (7th June)

I just turned 19, and the celebration was one of the most special moment ever happened in my life. For the first time in my life, I introduced my Izat Jaris to my big family. At first, I admit, I was hell nervous. But Alhamdulillah everything went out smoothly. My family warmly welcomed him, especially my bros :) Surely diorg mesti ngam punyalah nanti. Hihi. Even Mama and Abah were having good conversation with him. Actually, Mama was the one insisting me to invite him. Macam tak percaya kan? Hihi

Years ago, talking about love is something that is almost prohibited among my family members. Study is our priority. My sisters and brothers secretly having boyfriends and girlfriends. Ehem ehemm me too actually. Alhamdulillah, as everybody grows up, we are getting more mature about lovey dovey things. Mama dah boleh terima yang anak anak dia ni dah besar, dah gatal nak kawen. Hihi. Abah pun cool je. :) 

But then I realised something. This kind of maturity has brought our family closer and happier. Kalau time gathering tu ada je benda nak gossip. Pasal boyfriend org tu lahh, pasal girlfriend org ni lahh. And anybody yang broke up will always have the chance to talk and discuss about his/her relationship with the family members. Wonderful! 

Last but not least, thanks to my bro Abimi for the MANGO Shopping Bag :) Looking forward for  sponsorship from you for more family events. Hihi. Kerja Petronas kann, kene la sponsor lebih sikit :P I ended up my post with my favourite words,

I LOVE YOU IZAT JARIS DZULKIFLI ;)

Every good person has it's own bad yesterdays which turned them as good as today. So,don't judge people from their pasts, because people change :)

Never be afraid to fall in love. Or else, you'll missed it's sweetness and bitterness. You don't want to be tasteless isn't it? :)